Present

Ironically, I feel happier when things are simple, and life only revolves around track and studies.
FUCK, I know I said this many many times already, but I couldn’t help it. I really miss those days.

Things are getting fucking distracting and suffocating in Junior College.
All the BGR things, all the hardcore workload, all the shit stuff from a CCA that I don’t even like.

Sometimes I just feel like jumping down from my block and end all my misery, I wonder who will even miss me if I really did that. Am I significant to anyone at all other than my family members? Do I even have true friends that truly cares about me? I really want to know the answer.

But thinking about it again, it’ll be damn dumb if I really did jump -.-
A true hero faces his obstacles and overcomes it, and not avoid it.
I’m gonna face up to these troubles and persevere on, like how I did during Teo’s trainings.

I can do it. And to YOU, I love you.

When I still had you, I hated you.
Because of you, I went through countless of torturous days.
Because of you, I had to give up dates with my friends just to be with you.
And so on and so forth, life with you around sucks badly.
I thought giving up on you will be a great idea.

Well, that’s so wrong.
My life, all of a sudden, felt damn aimless.
I lost my self discipline and my focus.

I need you back.
I need to feel the wind gushing once again.

Come back to me, Track.

Happiness;

“Happiness is a choice.”
That’s your favourite quote.

You know what makes me happy?
Seeing your smile

Why is it always like that;

I hate it, HATE IT, when everytime I fall in love, when everytime I see someone that I could be together with, someone has to come in between me and the girl I like, and that someone ALWAYS HAS TO BE someone I know, someone dear to me, someone from 4/10….

hideout;

I guess this blog shall be my private blog then. Don’t think I need to lock this up,  since I don’t think anyone is gonna remember my wordpress anyway since everyone is gonna remember my tumblr.

Why are things so complicated nowadays? As the days pass, I feel more and more inferior to people around me. When I was in track, at least I still got something to boast about to people, but now, there’s nothing I can talk about. Not that I wanna boast, but I need something to provide myself with self-confidence and something for me to be proud of too.

I’m not smart, I can’t play musical instruments, I can’t sing, I’m not good looking, I’m short and I don’t even have the balls to confess to the girl I like. So what if I’m good in sports? First of all, I’m not even THAT good like Jabez Su, in fact, I think I’m like average only.

I really really really miss the old days back in Cat High. I’ve been taking my life over there for granted when I was there and now I’m regretting that I didn’t make use of my time over there. Despite all the shit that we do and all the punishments we received, we’re close, and we have nothing to worry about except for studies and our sports. Now, I have to worry about my image. FUCK IT, I JUST WANNA BE MYSELF.

I can’t even speak the way I used to, because some girls just think that it’s too mean and crude. I can’t behave the way I used too, because there are girls around and it’s too unglam. I can’t even do the things I love such as running on the track alone, because people will think that I’m “acting.” I need to tolerate certain fucked up shit and stupid comments by people when in Cat High, I’ll just ask that guy to STFU and GTFO.  And list goes on…

I just wanna rant now because I’m feeling extremely irritated and frustrated. Have you had the feeling when you feel like crying but you can’t? I want to cry all my thoughts out, but I can’t, not because I don’t want to, but I just can’t. My body somehow prevents myself from crying.

Seriously, if time could be turned back, I would like to go all the way to the start of 2010 and go to a fucking poly. All these unnecessary issues are preventing me from performing.

And do you know how much it hurts when I see you getting close to other guys, even though they’re your “bros”? Do you know how much I wanna hug you, and tell you that I’ll be here for you? Do you know how much I wanna hold your hand?

No you don’t, and I don’t think you care too.

Back to blogger;

I decided to go back to blogger. =D

Well, reasons are because I don’t get to do as many thing as I want with the skins (need to pay to play with the skins, wth) and I don’t get to add music. =(

Here’s my new link: http://antonymofaversion.blogspot.com/

Oh, REMEMBER TO VOTE FOR SNSD FOR MELON AWARDS!

2009 Melon MUSIC AWARDS

Link: http://www.melon.com/svc/awards/index.jsp

2009 album

2009 song [Either Gee or Genie, but I think "Gee" is the better choice]

2009 Mania

After that press “OK” and you’re done!

You can vote for other sections too, like 2009 New Artist and 2009 Special Albums. OH, you can spam votes too! Sooooooooo, VOTE FOR SNSD! =D

NOTE: In order to spam, go back to the very first link, refreshing the page is useless.

Credits: Soshified member ivy pei

Time for miracles?

Awesome movie with an awesome song.

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Superstar K!

This is powaaaarful.

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And this is for all the Boys Over Flowers fans!

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And some English songs!

SEOUL OUT!

WOOOO HOOOO!

My parents allowed me to attend the concert!

BUT…I have to pay them back $85 bucks when I start working. T.T

For more info: http://www.sundownfestival.sg/

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Goodbye CHS.